Dear Nora,
I have nothing against you but: Keep your claws off my Patch! Sorry, I slipped up there...what was I saying? Oh, right, I haven't started yet. If I say something possessive about Patch, ignore me, I'm just very territorial. Not that he was mine, to begin with. *display of complete constraint*So, right, this is a letter to and about you, Patch will not be mentioned, okay? Though, he is an important, attractive, mysterious charac-No! No mentioning Patch, remember? Jeez, I know you like him a lot, but show some restraint, I'm trying to have a proper conversation with you.
*Thinking of how to discuss Nora'so life without bringing up Patch*. So, um, how's the weather up in, where are you again, Portland? How's your mom doing? How's-how's Vee? Is she good? Are you guys still best friends considering she didn't tell you she's an angel? I joke you two still friends. Not that you really need her if you think she isn't a very good friend. If you need someone to confide in, you can always go to- go to *sigh* Patch. Okay, yeah, this isn't working out very well. If we discuss your life, we inevitably have to bring up Patch, and if we bring up Patch...well, let's just say things get ugly (long story: long story short, I've fought over Patch before with my friend on goodness for months, and I'm proud to say, though I haven't come out of that battle unscathed, I did come on top, with Patch)So, on that note, I'd like to propose a compromise, as a show of peace and respect: I don't like to take Patch five days a week, and since you hold some claim on him, you can have him for two. So, I'll have him on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and you can have him on Monday and Tuesday (I was going to tell you just take him on the weekends, but then I realized, I need him in the weekends). This is non-negotiable. Think of it as parental custody, without the whole court process. Now, don't complain, I was going to propose that you take him on Monday and I have him for the rest of the week, so I this is a fair revision if I do say so myself. By the way, Patch cannot know about this, he cannot know that I set this up. Just tell him you'll be away for a couple of days a week or something, just come up with a plausible excuse. I'm doing this because you're a fairly decent girl, but I swear (and this isn't a threat or blackmail...at least, not really) if you disagree to compromise, tell Patch, and/or do anything to keep him from me on my assigned days, I will kidnap him and disappear without a trace. Don't test me. I'm glad we understand each other. You won't hear from me again if you but cooperate. Alright, have a nice life!
♡,
Islam
P.S- Burn this letter after you have received and read it, and remember: I'm watching you.
*This is a picture of Emmy Rossum who, apparently, Becca Fitzpatrick wanted to cast as Nora.
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